This week, and pretty much the last 6 months, of parenting have been a serious nightmare for me. I don’t know what the hell happened, but I’ve lost all control. And now, I am on a mission to take it back.
My darling daughters are 6 and 8 years old. They are seriously adorable (thank God), so that is saving them. I love them so very much. And, I know the love I have for them is what makes their repugnant behavior actually make my heart and entire body hurt. I actually physically hurt.
It’s not the kind of hurt you feel when a boy breaks your heart. It’s more like feeling your heart sinking in your chest, and your head can’t bare to process the pain…so it just smolders throughout your veins. I know that seems pretty graphic, but it is the only way I can describe it.
The two of them have managed to drive me (and my husband) absolutely mad. You’d think that maybe one of the two might have an occasional thought like “maybe this isn’t a good idea”, but that NEVER happens. Every crazy and naughty thing is thought to be a great adventure by the dynamic duo.
These kind of crappy behaviors day after day cause a person to go bat shit crazy. I seriously do not like to yell (my husband will say otherwise), but you would think I was an award winning kid yelling champion. I can’t relax in the presence of my princesses. But, I SO want to. I want to be the mom we all see…She has her perfectly mannered kids, doing super fun stuff…and all of them are enjoying it. But, is she? Or, is she a figment of our imagination? I mean, we all have our moments when we can pull a rabbit out of our hat, and snap that great picture of Johnny and Jane doing something extraordinary, and post it on to Facebook for all of cyber world to see. But, that shit can’t be real every single day. So, take that image and toss it out the window!
The good thing is this – We are not the only parents in the world dealing with this stuff. Whether or not you can admit to having some or all of the issues I’ve had over my 8 years of parenting…that is for you to realize in time. I have friends who tell me when listening to my bitching and complaining about parenting is like looking in a rearview mirror. This gives me hope because I admire and enjoy the people that are saying these things, and they seem to have some great things going for them on the kid front now.
With all the bad behavior in the past week, I have removed all screens except for TV…It’s like 1987 again, except they have a remote control and don’t actually have to get up and change the channel themselves. The iPads have been hidden, and the computer has been put on lockdown. They have had to start repaying us for broken things and bad behavior…I guess they won’t be seeing their allowance for quite some time. And, they’ve lost their cleaner…no longer will they be relying on Rosana, our housekeeper, to magically clean their rooms.
This should be an interesting journey in our house. As my husband is traveling non-stop (AKA no back-up) and the kids will be out for blood…I am sure I will be pushed to the brink again. But, now I know I’m not alone. And, maybe, just maybe…I’ll be looking in the rearview mirror one day and think…You were too hard on yourself, and look at what they’ve become now.