Have you ever been lost? Not like being lost in your car and your spouse won’t pull over for directions kind of lost. But, the kind of internal feeling of being lost? Like not having a passion or a motivating driver? I am currently dealing with this crappy feeling. And, I hate it.
Being an expat can be tough. Being a trailing spouse expat can be even tougher. By no means have I ever been a “trailing spouse”. I’ve always managed to find jobs (good jobs) in each city that my husband and I found ourselves living in momentarily. But, when we decided to become expats, we decided that I would stay home with our kids. Which is great…so many people wish they could be there for their child’s early years. I appreciate each day I can be with my kids.
Staying home kind of fell in my lap. Moving oversees made it too hard for me to work…I couldn’t rely on my husband to be flexible (his job was demanding), I was 7 months pregnant when we moved to Switzerland, and getting a work permit would have been a hassle. Besides, I would have been working to pay for a nanny. And, I never thought it was fair for me to work. I mean I never know how long I am going to be living somewhere. I don’t like making a commitment, and then not being able follow through on my commitments. I know that seems like a novel idea these days.
So, here in lies the problem. I love my life. I have a great life…husband, kids, dogs, friends, etc. But, it’s missing one thing. A passion. Some people are passionate about jobs or hobbies. But, me? I’ve got nothing! I like working out, but it’s not my life. I can’t cook very well, I’m not a photographer, and I hate (I mean really hate) crafting.
Here are things I like/love…
– All things old (pre mid-century antiques)
– Organization (I’m really Type A)
– Researching (it goes with the Type A thing)
– Shopping (for anything – and I’ll research the hell out of it)
– My pets (they are my family too)
– Cleaning (it’s therapeutic for me…I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it either)
So, I’m challenging you to help me. I need to find my passion. I’m hoping you’ll share your passions with me. Tell me what you love to do. Maybe you’ll spark a thought in my head that I had never thought about before.
2 thoughts on “The Dilemma”
That's great that you can be stay at home for your family. That was what I had arranged in what I had hoped would be the ideal life for my young family. If you are into antiques, I know some people do the shabby Chic thing. I would probably only do this with antiques that are beyond being properly restored.
Hi, I’ve only just discovered your blog and love it. I came across this post because lately I’ve been feeling the same way but I’m not the ‘trailing spouse ‘ in my equation but the worker (not by choice but anyway). I’ve been trying to figure out what my passion is and my husband pointed me in the direction of Mark Manson. In a nutshell he makes you realise that you probably already know what your passion is and that it’s OK not to know but to discover it. As that’s the adventure of life. He says it better than me but check him out. I’m sure you’ve found your thing now as this is an old post but in case you ever feel like that again xx.